Female friendships: How are they different from male friendships?

Promise, you'll always be my friend, a phrase that is too subtle to ask for a lifelong commitment? Yes, female friendships during childhood used to be that much simple. Stardust, pink blush, and lots of love: the aesthetics of female friendships spring from the tender hearts of little girls who make friends for the first time in life, typically at school. But as human minds move from innocence to experience, or from childhood to adulthood, many critical aspects of friendship emerge among women. Many expectations and emotional ups and downs happen in that phase. Male friendships, on the other hand, are often celebrated as 'pride' and more 'beautiful' and 'real.' They take pride in saying that their friendship remains strong. However, they sometimes have many fights or disagreements, even crossing personal boundaries. Why do we see these differences? What sorts of differences do we see?    

Societal competitive issue

'Women support women.' This can be considered the foundation of female friendships. Good or bad decisions, a woman can find her true friend by her side in any circumstances. However, the rat race of life can make any woman hostile to another woman.

Good friends encourage you to reach your highest potential and are glad to hear your praise from others. Well, amidst these sweet conduct of friendships exists a darkness of unhealthy competition, though not every female friendship can be judged in the same way.

In our society, a woman has to struggle hard to attain a position. From having no right to vote in ancient Greece to reaching the moon today, women's evolution is shaped by resilience and determination.

Women are made functional in a way that most often their brains are in fight-or-flight mode, and they tend to compete more than men do to achieve something, as men have a sense of security which women don't. As patriarchy does not enable women to gain something easily, the socio-psychological factor, women create an invisible competition with other women, which hampers their friendships.

Jealousy is contagious, and many times a female considers another female as a rival, which creates dispute and ultimately affects her mental peace.

It is necessary to guide a friend in things which she lacks, and that makes a friendship strong. Negative scenarios are not prevalent everywhere, as there are women who support their friends in getting jobs and excelling in life without jealousy.

Emotional support

Female friendships can understand the emotional ups and downs of their peers, as they are likely to go through similar experiences. Say, for example, breakups are common, and they affect females no less or more than they affect males. We often see girls arranging small hangouts, trips and parties to pamper their female friends, which are rarely seen in male friendships. Girls tend to listen more and be at moment rather than finding solutions.

Though the wound is not going to heal easily, they will handle the situation with the constant support they provide to their friends.

Men are biologically and socially strong at holding back emotions, and the scenario of a male friend giving an emotional TED-talk to his other friend is not something to be seen usually. They tend to avoid their vulnerable feelings and move on with their regular jobs.  

Men, on the other hand, have different views on friendship. They also tend to care for friends, but as society expects them to be 'masculine' and tough, they are not expected to express feelings or share vulnerable conversations.

Biological

Now comes the effect of a female body on every relationship in her life. We know that female hormones fluctuate, and the connection between behaviour, mood, and hormonal changes is deep.

Women can be happy one day, and suddenly, on another day, her heart sings melancholic tunes. This kind of 'mood swing' impacts the attitude towards everyone present in a woman's life, including her friends.

As we know, we show our most vulnerable side to our loved ones; a female friend might unintentionally misbehave with another friend due to physical and mental illness.

If the friendship is strong enough, a sorry will resolve the issue, but if not, it might not survive. Moreover, females are more sensitive than males, and sudden changes in a friend's behaviour can hurt them.

Men, on the other hand, can behave in a static pattern, whether in an elevated mood or not. This thing keeps the male friendships simple and spontaneous.

Less exposure, more connection

Suppose a guy has become sick physically or mentally at midnight, now, after the family, who is expected to show up? Undoubtedly, his male friends.

This kind of flexibility is a luxury that men enjoy without acknowledging it. As a female, you have to give an account of your actions inside and outside the house, much more than a male does.

And it's not because of an orthodox mentality or a lack of trust, but because of the lack of safety. A female friend is not allowed to visit her other female at any time of day. Still, she can console her over the phone and through text messages, providing her utmost care, though from a distance. This is a huge difference between male and female friendships, as society tends to glorify male friendships without recognising the difficulties individual women face. Our world should be safer and more flexible for females, as human civilisation would not progress without the race of mothers.

A true friend is like a gemstone; it will grow more precious with time if you cherish it. Life is already hard as a woman, so we should not make it harder by choosing the wrong company or becoming one.

The mutual support and affection between females can be an invisible antidote to the illness of the heart, and every woman should have at least a few friends who will be there for her when things get tough.

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