How narcissism is reshaping our everyday life- how to deal with it?

Long before the era of selfies, the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth about someone who was overly obsessed with their own reflection. Narcissus, a strikingly handsome young man, wandered the world in search of love, yet the object of his obsession was always himself. After rejecting a nymph named Echo, fate led him to a river where he caught a glimpse. He hopelessly fell in love with his own reflection. Unable to tear himself away, Narcissus eventually drowned. A flower marked the spot where he died, forever carrying his name, Narcissus.

The myth of Narcissus captures the essence of narcissism, elevated and sometimes destructive self-involvement. However, it's not just a personality type that appears in advice columns. It's actually a set of traits that have been classified and studied by psychologists.

The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image. Narcissists see themselves as brighter, more beautiful, and more important than everyone else. They are convinced that they alone deserve special treatment.

The Psychological Review of "The Dark Core of Personality" by German psychologists Morten Moshagen, Benjamin E. Hilbig, and Ingo Zettler states, "narcissism is a personality trait marked by beliefs of personal superiority and a sense of entitlement to special treatment."

Psychologists identify two main shades of narcissism, and they are Grandiose narcissism and Vulnerable narcissism. Beyond these lies a more severe condition, 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder', which we will return to shortly.

Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind. It is characterised by extroversion, dominance, and an unrelenting hunger for attention. Grandiose narcissists seek influence and power, often in roles such as politicians, celebrities, or cultural icons. Not everyone who is drawn to these roles is narcissistic.

Many pursue them to grow, to inspire, or to help improve people's lives. But for the narcissist, power is not about purpose. It is about status, spotlight, and the applause that comes with it.

Vulnerable narcissists, by contrast, often appear quiet and reserved. They carry a strong sense of entitlement yet remain fragile, threatened, or easily slighted.

In both forms, the darker side of narcissism reveals itself over time. Driven by self-interest, narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical choices, while narcissistic partners may betray trust through dishonesty or unfaithfulness.

Taken to the extreme, this behaviour is classified as 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder', a psychological disorder that takes narcissism to its most destructive form.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects an estimated 1 to 2 per cent of the population, appearing more often in men than women. It is a diagnosis reserved for adults. Young people, especially children, can be strikingly self-centred, but in their case, it is often just a normal stage of development.

The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual outlines key traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They include a grandiose view of self, lack of empathy, a deep sense of entitlement, and a need for admiration or attention.

What transforms these traits into an actual personality disorder is their power to dominate a person's life, creating profound and lasting problems for themselves and those around them.

The impact of narcissism often becomes most apparent in teamwork. A grandiose narcissist may dominate conversations, dismiss the ideas of others, or even claim credit for the group's success.

Vulnerable narcissists, by contrast, may retreat into silence when they feel ignored, quietly breeding tension. What should have been a collaboration instead slips into competition. Confidence can energise a team, but when it turns into unchecked narcissism, it usually leaves frustration and resentment behind.

In personal relationships, narcissism can be even more damaging. A grandiose partner may demand admiration while offering little empathy in return. Vulnerable narcissists, feeling perpetually misunderstood, may become manipulative or passive-aggressive. Over time, these traits corrode trust and intimacy. What begins as charm can end in control, dishonesty, or betrayal, leaving the other partner emotionally exhausted.

Workplaces also reveal the paradox of narcissism. Ambition and charisma may initially help narcissists succeed and rise quickly in their careers.

However, their tendency to exploit colleagues, resist feedback, and prioritise personal glory over organisational goals often undermines long-term success. Teams may perform well in the short term under a narcissistic colleague or boss, but the absence of trust and loyalty eventually limits growth.

So what causes narcissism? Twin studies suggest a significant genetic component, although the specific genes involved remain unknown.

Can narcissism be managed?

As narcissism becomes more visible in daily life through social media habits, workplace competition, and relationship dynamics, many people wonder whether it can be controlled. While there is no quick cure, psychologists say change is possible through long-term effort and consistent self-awareness.

One of the first steps is recognising the pattern. Many narcissistic traits grow from insecurity, fear of inadequacy, or an excessive need for validation. When a person begins to understand these internal triggers, they can slowly interrupt the cycle.

Lifestyle changes play an essential role. Practising small acts of humility, such as allowing others to speak first, acknowledging mistakes, or asking for feedback, can weaken the impulse to dominate every situation. Developing empathy is another long-term technique. This can be achieved through reflective exercises, such as pausing before responding, imagining the emotional impact of one's actions, or actively listening without preparing a counterpoint. Journaling is also helpful, especially for vulnerable narcissists who often feel misunderstood. Writing down emotional reactions can reveal patterns that are otherwise hard to see during conflict or stress.

Reducing dependence on external validation is another significant shift. Limiting social media use, especially activities tied to constant self-promotion, can reduce the urge to seek admiration.

Instead, engaging in offline activities such as reading, volunteering, group hobbies, or physical exercise can help build a sense of worth that is not dependent on others' attention. Mindfulness practices such as meditation or breathwork can also help regulate emotional swings and soften defensive reactions.

For those dealing with narcissistic individuals, maintaining boundaries is essential. This includes being clear about what behaviour is acceptable, avoiding emotional overinvestment, and stepping back when manipulation appears.

On a broader level, conversations around digital culture, performance pressure, and the need for constant self-display can also shape how societies deal with rising narcissistic traits. Encouraging honest communication, promoting collaborative environments, and valuing community over competition may gradually shift how narcissism manifests in our everyday lives.

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