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"I never thought the house could feel this empty," said Mrs Ashura Begum, a 50-year-old mother from Kushtia. After her two daughters moved to different cities for higher studies, she struggled with a sense of emptiness.
"My daughters were the centre of my life, and I believed raising them was the only purpose of my life. But when they moved to different cities for their higher studies, I felt a deep emptiness. I feel happy and proud that they are doing well, but sometimes, I feel disconnected from their lives. I talk to them over the phone and make video calls, but sometimes, I want to cook their favourite food or have them around. But now it's just me, my husband and our loneliness," shared Mrs Begum.
Like Mrs Ashura Begum, many parents in Bangladesh feel the same emptiness when their kids move to another country or city for different reasons. Psychologically, this experience of emptiness is called Empty nest syndrome. This term describes the sadness, loneliness, and loss that parents may feel when their children leave home.
It is not a clinical disorder. Instead, it is a real experience that affects many parents worldwide. It often occurs when kids leave home for the first time for university, marriage, or to start their career. Parents feel a void and sometimes struggle to adjust to a quieter household.
In a country like Bangladesh, parenting is often seen as a lifelong commitment. Many parents' identities revolve around their kids, and they think their only purpose is to raise them correctly.
From preparing meals for them to helping them with homework, their days are filled with the demands of raising their kids. That's why, when children leave, parents suddenly face a quieter home and fewer responsibilities. The routine that shaped their lives disappears, leaving a void that can feel overwhelming.
Mrs Shahina Akhter, a mother whose only son recently moved to another city for his work purpose, shared her heart-wrenching story, "My son was not just my son; he was my only companion. We used to have tea together in the evening and discuss his life plans. But now, he is not here, and the evenings feel endless. My husband remains busy with work, and I have no one to talk to."
Yet parents face a challenge: they have to act normally in this transitional situation according to some societal norms. Sometimes, they hesitate to discuss their feelings, fearing that they may look overly dependent or selfish.
But despite these challenges, many parents find ways to adapt to this situation and rediscover themselves. This journey begins with accepting that this phase of life is natural and inevitable.
One helpful way to combat loneliness is to explore any hobby or passion. Mrs Begum started gardening at her home. "Gardening was something I always enjoyed. But I never had enough time before. Now, I have a small garden and spend some time with plants. It distracts me and brings me peace," she says.
After having kids, parents get busy raising kids and overlook the spousal relationship. After years of focusing on their children, they try to use this time to rekindle their bond.
Another way parents find their life purpose is by volunteering, doing social welfare work, or learning something new, like new cooking recipes or a new language.
Mrs Akhter, who struggled with loneliness after her son moved to a different city, started teaching Arabic to the children in her neighbourhood. "Teaching these kids gives me another kind of satisfaction. The kids bring energy to my home and pace my life," she remarked happily.
Empty Nest Syndrome is an emotional journey that varies for each parent. Some people adapt to the situation quickly, while others take time to adjust. This phase can also be an opportunity for personal growth. Parents who once prioritized their children's dreams can now focus on their aspirations.