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Nothing destroys relationships among a group of people like backbiting. It affects friendships, creates misunderstandings, and destroys the foundation of respect for one another. Understandably, it has a significant impact in a sensitive environment such as academia or work-place.
Starting a youth's independent life can be difficult when they start university or their first job. Especially if a person is just fresh out of college, away from home, and forced to confront the realities of adulthood, life becomes lonely and hard. It comes with many obstacles as well as responsibilities. In that vulnerable state, any sort of negative reinforcement can set one apart from the rest.
Freshers often find it difficult to fit in, so they push themselves out of their comfort zones to be liked. Hence, the "best friends forever" groups are born. Those massive groups consist of people with different minds and different tastes. It is not uncommon for these big groups to fall apart over time due to shared differences, often accelerated by backbiting among the friends' group.
Backbiting has become such a common practice among our generation that one often doesn't realise they are doing it. It has become a new fashion of conversation. It is often overlooked how it can hurt someone's feelings and demotivate them in the academic or professional field. To understand the reasons behind this widespread practice, we have to dive into the underlying psychology behind backbiting.
Backbiting is often rooted in insecurity and envy. The desire for social validation indicates how people feel about themselves and their status in groups. It can come from feelings of unworthiness, jealousy, or a desire to appear superior by putting people down.
On top of that, it is often used as a coping method for people who want to soothe their own insecurities by uniting with others through shared negativity. In our competitive environments, jealousy easily becomes a significant factor that increases the tendency to backbite.
Everyone aspires to achieve academic excellence, but it comes with dedication and hardship. Many students often fail to attain the expected results despite their efforts, which creates latent frustration. Due to their low self-esteem, they struggle to cope with insecurities about life and achievements, and they try to deal with these feelings by shifting these thoughts elsewhere.
Maintaining a good relationship with seniors is a big advantage in university life. Many students, feeling intimidated by seniors, gossip about their own batchmates to them in an attempt to form a good relationship.
Backbiting with batchmates or seniors is one thing, but bad mouthing someone to a teacher is a much more intricate and sensitive matter. Most of them do it to get into the good book of the teacher. In professional settings, this may create a long lasting impact in someone's career.
At times, it comes from their lack of confidence in their own skills, leading them to bring others down in order to elevate themselves. Or it can simply be a strategic move to win teachers' approval; they want to be the 'teacher's pet', so they'll say whatever they think the teacher wants to hear.
Undoubtedly, it is morally wrong for a teacher to treat a student differently or let personal matters affect the academic evolution process of that student based on any information they receive from an outside source. Moreover, teachers should discourage the practice of talking behind someone's back, let alone being a part of it.
When someone has done something wrong, instead of forgiving and moving on, people often dwell on their flaws and weaknesses. It is as if someone gets satisfaction from discussing their imperfections. They overlook the darkness in their own hearts.
Some people like to go behind others' backs just because they find pleasure in discussing the faults of others. They like to criticise others just for fun. This is way too dangerous because they don't know what they're talking about or the effects that their words can have on them.
Backbiting can divide a group of people, disperse their unity, and create a rift between them. The academic or professional atmosphere should encourage one's ability to thrive. A lot of it is dependent on mutual cooperation. Backbiting and jealousy only create a hostile environment among friends, colleagues or seniors and should be avoided. If you're ever in a situation where you are a part of a group conversation where someone's backbiting about someone, you can choose to be silent and not actively participate in the conversation. Or you can simply excuse yourself and leave the table. Parents need to educate their children about backbiting early on as their child might face it in any part of their life. In academia, awareness against this should be championed by teachers and senior students. Backbiting needs to be shunned early on because if 'backbiters' go on to practise the same in professional life, this issue will create toxicity among colleagues and may harm the career of a youth.