Alpha male, Sigma male, and the delusion of 'real man'

There is a famous saying in Hindi, "mard ko dard nehi hota (a real man doesn't feel pain)." Being a man in the 21st century can be tough. There are certain rules about dressing, behaving, and expressing emotions. Being a real man nowadays throws a lot of pressure to uphold a masculine mage based on aggressive behaviour, smoking, drinking, and possessiveness. 

Manifested through social media, movies, and TV commercials, there is a version of masculinity that is indeed toxic- where dangerous and toxic personality traits are associated with being a real man.

Imagine a fictional character named Susan choosing a date from two males. In one version, the man was nice – he was in touch with his feelings, caring, and kind. In another, he was a self-described 'real man' who was insensitive and unkind. So, which one do you think Susan preferred to date for herself? 

Some women somehow feel fascinated by these arrogant men, rude, march to the beat of their drum, and may quite possibly have a borderline personality disorder. The more glorification of this so-called real man image happens, the more it puts pressure on those who do not fit into these shoes.

Now, readers will wonder what the relationship is between masculinity, smoking, and violence. Well, even in the 21st century, a few women define 'the real man' through possessiveness, toxic masculinity, smoking, violence, and careless behaviour. As mysterious as it is, women from any age, background, and perspective are seen to fall for this toxic masculinity and love to consider themselves as a rehabilitation centre for these kinds of toxic personalities. 

Deep down inside, these women have a dark fantasy that somehow, they can fix these male chauvinists with their unbound love and care as if they are Simran (Kajol) from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge who can change the spoiled brat Raj (Shahrukh Khan) with their love and care. 

Popular TV commercials and films also promote real man syndrome as foreground sex appeal, strength, and dominance over women. The vintage magazine advertisement from 1970 included the poetry of this line: "Where there is a man, there is a Marlboro". 

Men's products like cologne, deodorant, energy drinks, and even cigarettes have always been known to show some muscular men doing 'manly' activities in their advertisements. Although the purpose of this is to attract more men to use their products, one might realise how every ad tends to glorify hypermasculinity. 

It's like these ads show that there are certain standards of being a 'real man' in the 21st century; it's like unless you fulfil these toxic standards, society would not see you as a 'real man'. It evokes a question in my mind: if a normal guy who does not drink or smoke, stay away from any violence, and treats woman gently does not fulfil the standard of masculinity, then what does it cost for him to be a real man?

Movies, the Alphas, the Sigmas 

With his most recent film, Animal, Indian filmmaker Sandeep Reddy Vanga, renowned for a particular genre of cinematic flair, has sparked more conversation and debate. This time, though, the discussion is about more than just a slap; rather, it's about praising alpha males and their contentious qualities, which has sparked a contentious discussion about toxic masculinity and the muted portrayals of women in his movies.

The main character is Ranbir Kapoor's Ranvijay Singh, who is moulded by his father's absence and fixation with Balbir (Anil Kapoor). Raising eyebrows for its misogynistic undertones, the story of Ranvijay, portrayed as the archetypal alpha male, seduces Rashmika Mandana's Geetanjali by highlighting attributes like hunting prowess and providing for the family.

In a more human context, the term alpha male is often used to describe a dominant, confident, and assertive man who exhibits leadership qualities. However, in today's society, men who are careless, violent, abusive, and disrespectful are considered Alpha males. 

Before the release of Animal, with only minor modifications, another film, Arjun Reddy's portrayal of Kabir Singh in Hindi was an enormous hit. Many people adore the 'intense' love story, despite it romanticising toxic masculinity and the kind of timid, doe-eyed female passivity made popular and international films like Beautiful Disaster, Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, and 365 Days. 

From social media shorts to online platforms like the popular Netflix Series Euphoria, Peaky Blinders takes you on a wild ride through memory lane, reminding you of those cringeworthy moments from coworkers, friends, and your past.

The idea that these characteristics are desirable and required for men to succeed has been perpetuated by the frequent portrayal of men as aggressive, domineering, and emotionless in films, television shows, and other works of popular culture. Even some feminists who fight for equal rights as men have been seen rooting for these kinds of male characters like Mashimo from the 365 Days movie or Mr. Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Sigma male and society's Stockholm Syndrome

In 365 Days, the movie, the male protagonist is a mafia who kidnaps the woman he fell in love with and captivates her on an island. At first, the girl decides to run away from him, but later, she is deeply in love with him. 

This type of character should be thrown behind bars; instead, he is being hailed as a hero. Many women in today's society are the worst sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome who develop some kind of fascination for their abusers, which affects both men and women adversely. 

Today, Instagram and TikTok are filled with photos and videos of school or college boys embracing cigarettes before embracing adulthood. Their walls are filled with photos of cigarettes on their fingers, exhaling smoke recklessly. 

The so-called bad boy image has triggered them to normalise violence, womanising, drinking, and smoking. 

Movies like Animal and Kabir Singh are adding a cherry on top. If every man in society begins to consider himself a predator to be a real man, and every woman loves to think of herself as prey, then soon society will turn into a jungle, and we all are animals.

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