Negotiating with the butcher for the perfect steak cut

While casually scrolling through FYP, you stumbled upon a mouth-watering steak recipe right before Eid Ul Adha. The chef made the recipe so effortless —'sear, flip, rest and done' — that even your cousin, who can boil water, got involved.

You, along with him, picked out an easy 5-minute recipe, maybe a juicy ribeye, a flavorful sirloin, or filet mignon. But then the reality hits hard. How on earth do you convince your butcher to cut that exact piece? You asked them for a ribeye, only to stare like you asked for a unicorn horn.

Well, your butcher isn't any villain. It's because he doesn't understand your fancy vocab as he has queues of customers asking for liver, bones, and fat.

It's like trying to explain quantum physics to a cow; they either don't understand or don't want to. But you don't give up easily. Stick to presenting to your butcher how you taught your grandpa about using an Android phone for the first time with loads of patience, strategy and a few not-so-harmful bribes.

Steak 101

Before you partake in this battle, ensure you're not just a random YouTube watcher; you know your game and your taste buds. First up, there's Ribeye, the king of steaks coming from the cow's rib area.

Widely known for its marbling and tenderness. Or, as food bloggers say, 'Juicy and tender.'

Moving on to sirloin, which comes from the back of the cow. It is leaner and meaty. If you're looking for something flavorful with minimal fat, then this is your go-to choice.

The tenderloin is the most tender cut, just like butter. It comes from a short loin. It has very little fat, which makes it a mild flavour and incredibly soft; it just melts in your mouth.

T tones give you two stakes in one. Soft tenderloin on one side and sirloin sirloin on the other, separated by a T-shaped bone. Finally, Chuck may not be the star at a steak game, but he is perfect for slow cooking. These cuts have names and structures, but your Koshai mama only knows meat, bones and skins. The concept of cut aesthetics doesn't exist in his meaty universe.

The gameplay

Explain your preferred cuts to your Koshai mama, who believes meat is solely meant for kebabs or curry. A one-to-one conversation can go a long way, so bring a picture.

Not from some cooking show where the steak piece is already sizzling with butter and garlic, but a whole cow chart that shows where each cut comes from.

Trust the process, as the picture speaks a thousand words.

Use your fingers to indicate the thickness you prefer for your steak pieces. This universal measurement works everywhere, from Dhaka to Dubai. 

Make sure you are using their words. Nothing fancy like, "I want a tenderloin piece about 2 inches thick with good marbling", but go, "the meat along the spine without much bone."

Say your words slowly and repeat if necessary. And if they are zoned out with all these, say, "I saw this one recipe that requires this specific piece. And the only person I trust is your expertise", with a flattery tone that can get you everywhere. Complement their knife skills, their speed and how cleanly they skin the cow.  

Moving on with the classic. "My niece is coming, and they only eat tenderloin", with a puppy face.

Your gameplay is to tug at the heartstrings. And even if the butcher doesn't budge, use a long-term strategy to be his loyal customer. If he's still unmoved, bring someone older and serious-looking, who knows the butcher, to negotiate.

"I will pay you extra" may seem like your last option, but it is a nuclear option as money talks. Go saying, "Your effort is understandable, and I'm happy to pay a little more than theirs".

Here's what you should avoid: Do not show up with an attitude. Your butcher holds the knife, literally.

Don't act like you know more than the person who cuts meat for a living. Avoid using Western jargon like 'medium rare' thickness or 'reverse sear' quality to avoid random off-cuts. Be patient, use pictures or bring someone who speaks butcher language. This Eid, may your steaks be perfectly cut, perfectly seared, juicy and tender.

The writer can be found at meghrahman1234@gmail.com