How to find the perfect groom in 2024 

Exploring the world of looking for a groom in 2024 feels like participating in a cross between a reality show and a family-run matchmaking service. And trust me, the drama is real!

For those of us born into traditional brown families, this process can be as overwhelming as it is amusing. As a member of Gen Z (1997 to 2012), we approach marriage a little differently; we want more than just a pretty face and a solid biodata. We're looking for connection, chemistry, and someone who can handle our quirks. So, grab your popcorn and let me take you through my not-so-glamorous but very enlightening journey of finding Mr. Right.

The parental review of biodata

You hit 18, and suddenly, your entire existence revolves around finding a life partner. For brown parents, this is the equivalent of the Super Bowl, and they've been training for this moment your entire life.

The groom hunt begins with biodata reviews, a modern twist on the arranged marriage ritual. Our parents dove in headfirst, treating the groom selection like they were recruiting for the next CEO. Each potential candidate's resume was scrutinized like it was a Harvard application.

After narrowing down the pool (sorry if any potential grooms didn't make it past the primary round), Father decided it was time to meet the remaining hopefuls in person, like a job interview, only with more coffee and fewer PowerPoint slides.)

Now, imagine calling in to meet these candidates after parents had already given them the green light. What happens next? Only some people are impressed at first sight, right?

Someone is emotionally unavailable yet somehow well-versed in Shakespeare. The other one seems sweet with zero decision-making skills, essentially a puppet whose strings were firmly controlled by his family.

Gen Z: The Rebellion

For us Gen Z folks, marriage isn't about checking off a list or making grandma happy (though my grandma would argue otherwise). We're not about simply ticking boxes like "good job" and "nice family."

Instead, we crave meaningful connections. We want a partner who understands us, respects us, and, most importantly, lets us be ourselves. Our parents may stick to tradition, but we've evolved; we welcome friendly discussions and different opinions. We look at all angles and evaluate everything with our own experiences and knowledge.

This generation? We value autonomy, especially when it comes to major life decisions like choosing a spouse.

Sure, mistakes might happen, but that's how we grow. After all, a partner who supports you through your mistakes is far more valuable than one who looks good on paper.

What do we want in a groom?

So, what does the modern bride-to-be look for in a groom? It's no longer about just wealth or social standing (though a stable job helps). Here's a little cheat sheet for the uninitiated, and it starts with;

Respect

Having respect for each other is non-negotiable. A man who values his partner as an equal is a nice human being.

Humility

Kindness beats arrogance every time. Being humble always looks good on the face, and at the same time, they can manage situations well.

Communication skills

Love is nothing but a good communication skill. We need someone who can actually talk to us; monosyllabic grunts won't cut it.

Responsibility

A responsible person is way better than just a romantic person. Life throws curveballs, and we need a partner who can catch them.

Emotional availability

Ghosting is a no-go in marriage. To stay emotionally present and supportive is important for a healthy relationship.

Bravery

Someone who can stand by his convictions and be honest with himself and others is worth gold.

There are thousands of examples out there where a girl turned down a potential match because his family lacked basic manners and boundaries. Talk about a red flag! We're looking for someone who elevates our lives, not someone who comes with a controlling entourage. It's all about Partnership, not Sole proprietorship!

The art of rejection

Now, let's talk about rejection. It's inevitable. It's not always easy, but with each "no," I get closer to the elusive "yes." after all, it is your life. Sometimes, it's less about the candidate and more about realizing what I need in a partner.

Gen Zs like us are learning to dive into this tricky process with humour and insight. We're discovering that while "perfection" doesn't exist, someone who complements us and who can balance out our emotional or intellectual gaps is the closest we can get.

Is there any perfect match

So, what does "perfect" even mean? Perfection is all about balance. A book-smart person with a street-smart partner? Magic.

An emotional person paired with someone empathetic and understanding? Beautiful.

The key is finding someone who complements you, someone who doesn't compete but is a company.

In 2024, as the world continues to change, so does the idea of finding a life partner. We're not just looking for a groom anymore; we're searching for a partner, a teammate, someone who will face life's ups and downs with us, hand in hand.

Swipe Smart, Marry Smarter

Finding the perfect groom is a journey filled with ups, downs, and a lot of coffee. Rejections are part of the game, and while the process may not be glamorous, it's always worth the effort.

We may have high expectations, but we deserve nothing less than our happily ever after. So here's to swiping smartly, matching wisely, and marrying thoughtfully in 2024 because love isn't just about looks; it's about finding the person who'll laugh with you through all life's crucial moments!

Samiha Mamun is an undergraduate student of Army IBA (Affiliated to Bangladesh University of Professionals), Savar, Dhaka. She can be reached at [email protected]