Silent gestures, loud love: The non-verbal apologies of our mothers

In our brown households, words aren't always the primary way to mend misunderstandings. A direct apology is not a norm in our brown culture. That's why our brown mothers mastered the art of expressing their care and regret without needing to say, "I'm sorry."

Whether it's through comforting food, thoughtful gestures, quiet acts of service, or simple, loving touches, these mothers convey their deepest emotions in ways that often speak louder than words.  

One of the most cherished ways brown mothers express their love and remorse is through cooking. When words fall short, a mother's kitchen becomes her canvas, and each dish she prepares is a message to her children.

After a disagreement, it's not uncommon for a child to come home to the enticing smell of their favourite meal. The unspoken words at that moment are clearly saying, "I'm here for you, I care about you, and I want to make things right."

Food is more than just sustenance in this matter. It's a symbol of unconditional love. They have an innate understanding that feeding their family is an act of nurturing, healing, and reconnecting after a rift.

The simple invitation to "Khete esho" (Come and have a meal) carries with it the weight of an apology wrapped in warmth and comfort. 

Beyond the kitchen, mothers often use small acts of service as a way of making amends. Tidying up a child's room, folding their clothes, or preparing their school bag for the next day are simple yet profound ways to show love and remorse.

These gestures are deeply ingrained in our families, where actions often speak louder than direct words. By quietly taking care of these tasks, brown mothers communicate, "I'm still here for you," without needing to say it out loud. 

Other times, they might show extra attention by oiling and brushing their child's hair, sitting down for a quiet conversation, or simply spending more time with them.  

By giving small gifts or tokens of care, they compensate for their deeds sometimes. Whether it's a favourite snack, a new item of clothing, or even a childhood keepsake, these thoughtful offerings are more than just objects. This small token of love might not seem like much, but in the matter of a relationship built on care, it's a powerful way to heal any hurt feelings. 

They often express their remorse by quietly mending or fixing things. Whether it's sewing a tear in clothing, repairing a broken item, or ensuring everything is in its proper place, these actions are a symbolic way of 'fixing' not just the item but the relationship as well. This practical gesture highlights their desire to restore harmony and offer care without the need for a verbal apology. 

It's a way of demonstrating that, despite any disagreements, their commitment to their child's well-being and happiness remains steadfast. The beauty of these non-verbal apologies lies in their simplicity and sincerity.

These mothers understand that sometimes, the best way to say "I'm sorry" is not through words but through quiet acts of kindness and love. Whether it's a home-cooked meal, a warm hug, or a small, thoughtful token, these silent apologies speak directly to the heart.

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