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4 months ago

Satire

Welcome to Bashundhara for daily fun adventure

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Be honest with the writer here, do you also hear the jingle playing in your ears, 'Cholo na Bashundharay Jai!' with a little girl walking up the staircases with her parents to a beautiful home from the greenest of green grass; every time you hear the name Bashundhara? Yes, the writer thought so, too. 

While pointing on the map, a road diverged from the streets of Dhaka and stepped down to the villages of Narayanganj, beside the suburbs of Khilkhet - a highway of 14 lanes. Just beside it stands the mighty bubble land of the much-advertised Bashundhara Residential area. 

Everything from the old ads stays true, except the green lands here are hardly grass anymore, more swamps of green algae floating, with little fishes ready to be hunted by the mighty fishing lords. 

There are many perks of being a Bashundhara-ite. The first one would be whenever anyone hears you say, 'I live in Bashundhara,' the immediate follow-up would be, 'Shopping Complex?' and you sigh for the umpteenth time, 'No, residential.' Because honestly, we don't want to spare anymore time trying to understand why someone would think we live in a mall. 

The second follow-up statement must obviously be, "Woah, posh kid!' or 'Borolox"! And as an experienced Bashundhara-ite, you would just smile it off too. Because your monthly rent of a single sublet room depends on the fourth tuition of the day, you are on your way to then. 

A tale runs in the minds of the residents of this oasis of a place. "The apartments actually belong to the mosquitoes; we are just visiting." While most neighbourhoods merely tolerate these tiny bloodsuckers, we embrace them as cherished roommates! Forget white noise machines - here in Bashundhara, the hum of mosquitoes is the ultimate lullaby, ensuring a deep and restful sleep for all. 

Anywhere one may stand, especially from afternoons to late nights, make sure to spare some room for the obvious members of your conversation, the huge groups of mosquitoes. Also, carry an extra bag of blood in case your veins fall short. 

But this also comes with a perk too! They make excellent excuses for a quick slap to your super annoying friend in front. We can (almost) assure you that we heard a boy once ring the ears off of his friend who won't shut up, only to say, "There was a mosquito in your cheek, Dost!" (Warning - Do not try this at home!)

Bashundhara may also be among the strongest contenders for the award for the most twisted roads on Dhaka's map. Or in the extensions, someone who just moved in here may often seem crying with a phone in their hand to figure out which way the sun was up today and what does 'head north in 10 meters after heading south for 20 meters' at a dead end with a wall in front. 

Endless ribbons of asphalt wind their way through the neighbourhood like the tentacles of a benevolent octopus. Who needs GPS when every turn leads you on a thrilling adventure through the labyrinthine streets of Bashundhara? 

It's a veritable maze where every wrong turn is an opportunity for spontaneous exploration, and every dead end is a chance encounter with a friendly neighbourhood cow (Trust me, there are moo-buddies here). Good luck finding your friend's house for the first time here. May you find it within the minimum number of people circling the same road. 

And what about the infamous Bashundhara River? Ah, yes, the river that flows not with water but with the collective tears of frustrated commuters. When the heavens open up and rain descends upon the fair neighbourhood, the streets transform into a watery wonderland, complete with floating debris and impromptu water sports. 

Forget Venice—Bashundhara is the true city of canals, where every puddle is a potential swimming pool, and every flooded street is an invitation to embrace your inner amphibian. The cars turn into submarines; lucky passengers may also take a quick look to explore the underwater wonders. 

The Coffeeshop and MacBook-bound entrepreneurs may take notes; the Waterbus service is indeed a great idea for a startup here in rainy seasons! 

But perhaps the pièce de résistance of living in Bashundhara is the legendary traffic jam at Bashundhara Gate. Picture this: a sea of rickshaws stretching as far as the eye can see, their drivers engaged in a silent battle of wills as they navigate the chaos with zen-like patience (This zen includes cuss-words). 

Too lazy to walk? Just stand still on the footpaths and feel how the ocean of people cramming through the narrow lanes makes you float ahead. The writer may be overpromising, but she is proud to see another Satmasjid Road Restaurant Heaven growing right in the arms of this 200-meter (give or take) long road.

But Bashundhara truly is a gem of a place to build a home. The roads inside are quiet and green. Security vans are always surveilling through every nook and corner of every road. You can walk on the roads till late at night without having to worry about miscreants or muggers. Undoubtedly, the women here feel safer than other residential areas in Dhaka.

Society takes care of the neighbourhood, too, always expanding, making housing more affordable and comfortable. The roads are always being prepared for the next monsoon. There is always a new restaurant to check out. Always a new university to get enrolled in, a new mosquito to befriend, and so on. 

The sweet perks may be a little too prickly. Still, the writer is too in love with the tranquil Bashundhara residential area to move elsewhere and would invite you to join their peaceful Bashundhara for a happy living, too. 

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