Making friends as an adult

| Updated: July 17, 2022 17:20:53

Making friends as an adult

In childhood, everyone thinks that life will be easier and there will be fewer boundaries once they grow up. But the most ironic thing is that as people grow older, things become more tangled.

Instead of being able to do things carefree, different layers of impediments keep on coming in life.

When you were 10 or 12, making friends didn’t need much effort. Actually, this was not a thing to think about much at that time. It happened automatically. But as people grow older, suddenly they look at different angles and aspects of making new friends. Suddenly, it is not a piece of cake anymore.

Lack of trust comes into play

According to The Conversation, an Australia-based media outlet, when researchers interviewed adults about making new friends in a recent study, the most challenging factor cited was a lack of trust. That is, people found it harder to trust someone new and fully invest in them as a friend.

And even after making some new pals, sometimes people feel a tinge of guilt thinking of their childhood friends whom they just let go of without making an effort to keep the contact.

Fear of rejection

Some good contacts are needed in the workspace to make the job right. Self-centred persons are not welcomed in an organisation or campus. So you need some new companions but there is a tug of war going on inside your mind.

“Should I crack a joke to break the ice? But what if I end up being stupid to others?” or “Am I being too erratic? But if I approach, won’t that make me desperate?” – these fears of rejection poke inside your head and suddenly talking to a new person becomes tougher than climbing up Everest.

Mismatch in point of view

As people become adults, all of them possess different views and mindsets. In a conversation, most of them want to forcefully establish their point of view. Instead of appreciating, they just nullify others’ opinions.

So once people notice that there is a huge mismatch of opinion with their potential new friend, they take a step back. No mature person wants to be dominated and feel worthless by others. 

Dilemma of choice

If someone needs to be chosen as a new friend, there is a dilemma. While observing new people, some look stupid. You forcefully put on a smile at their meaningless jokes and alert yourself to stay away from them. On the contrary, some look so intellectual and polished that they feel like out of your league. 

Lack of energy

After a certain stage, you do not possess the required energy to make and spend on new friends. All the juvenile energy gets split into different office work, family responsibilities, or career decorations. You can not hang out or have pointless life talk over the rooftop always with new friends. So making some new pals like teenage years seems to be much tiresome.

But all these dilemmas and confusions won’t help. Everyone needs some comfort zone of good souls. As an adult, this is even more important.

To avoid loneliness and keep the mind refreshed, friends are needed. To make a new friend as an adult, it's important to be positive and simple. Keep in mind that it is a different ball game. It can not be compared to the childhood friendship process.

And all things will never go the way you want them to go. So try not to judge people from a very critical point of view. You will not have the perfect friend with customised characteristics as per your choice.

Just make a balanced relationship with that person. It’s not necessary to make friends with all his opinions, views, likes, and dislikes. At the same time, accept invitations from others with an open mind. 

Unlike childhood, no one will be the best buddy overnight. It will take time to grow the trust between each other. If the relationship gets enough time, eventually things will work out. Once the ice is broken, it may give you one of the best companions of your life.

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