A fish out of water

Change is the only constant thing in our life and yet we fear it. We make a cocoon around ourselves and think that we might never have to change it. Life does the magic and someday we see, the cocoon is broken and we are out. Shifting home, town, school, college, workplace; moving to a new place always seems to be a difficult challenge. We all could feel like a fish out of the water and life might seem very unclear.

To cope with a problem, at first, one needs to understand that. When people face adjustment issues in a new place, there are lots of barriers standing in their way. The moment they decide to leave an old place, that’s where the whole thing begins. Thinking of the good time they had there, the familiar environment, and people, all start making a nostalgic trap and they start feeling sad about their decision. The enthusiasm about starting afresh somehow gets attacked by the sadness. People often feel very indecisive when all the decisions are already made and they need to prepare for a long journey.

This procedure of coping with the new place needs a little calmness. The overwhelming state of mind usually puts us into a bigger problem. So be calm and think about the positive sides of this crucial change. A transition period often brings out the best in you. One could say goodbye to the old problems related to the old place. Everyone has a second chance to put an impression. Be it work or personal life, it will bring a tide of possibilities.

But still, despite having a very positive mind one could face the adjustment issue because it’s a very hectic one indeed. Not everything is happening in your head, many things are happening outside too. But only after dealing with the inner problems, one could move to the next step and try to fix the outside issues. During this period, feeling lonely and helpless is normal; so you need to keep doing things that help you stay calm and energetic. You could use some ‘Fixing Mantra’ for your relaxation and peace of mind.

Khadizatul Kobra, a university student recently moved from her childhood locality to a completely new city. When asked about her adjustment mechanism, she made some points.

“Try to be an explorer, both of mind and places. Order some local foods, dive into the local life. Meeting new people could always give you a diverse and fruitful impact. But if you are an introvert or not much of a talker, you could just walk alone on the roads or spend a cloudy afternoon in the roadside cafe with your favourite book and music. Finding a new hobby or favorite place can also help you build your territory. Arranging your new home all by yourself is hard work but look at the brighter side, it would all be ‘you’ spreading in every piece of asymmetry. Starting your study or work seriously can help you feel more arranged. When you do something productive, you feel positive about yourself and that adds power to the coping mechanism. If you just lose your inspiration over a change; that would just make the situation worse”.

Changes made gradually don’t seem to change the scenario in many senses. Keep in touch with your old buddies over the phone or on social media. Make tour plans, invite them over. This will give you a belonging sense to the old circle, they will also feel good. The sense of detachment and not belonging anymore is the worst thing that happens during this procedure. Don’t push yourself into it, try to keep regular communication with your family too. Tell people that you miss them. Bottling up the feelings won’t help, let them come out and then the weight from your chest would go, day by day.

Every day, you will take a step towards the new life and find yourself getting habituated. The comfort zone that isn’t outside, it’s within you. Your relationships, feelings, and thoughts are the home you crave for. Humans also carry their home just like a turtle in the shell of memories, only the difference is, it’s not visible.

Are you feeling like a fish out of water? Then think again and again, couldn’t this fish find a new pond? No harm in hoping that the water is better this time.

The author is a current student of mass communication and journalism at Dhaka University. She can be reached at: anindetamonti3@gmail.com